it's interesting how things change...until a couple of years ago everything was "normal." then something happened, i don't know what or why or how, but i plummeted into a very dark place in my life, in my mind, in my reality...nothing was the same...nothing was "normal"...and no one understood...but i made some new friends who did, or at least tried...and they helped, they were there for me to listen and not judge...to help but not push...they became family...then things started to change again...and now they are gone...did i imagine these "friends?" were they just an illusion that i had built up in my head as a way to cope? why did i depend on these people to the extent that i did, and where are they now when things are a little better? i still need them because without them this masquerade for the rest of the world will consume me again...things changed - they lifted me up out of the darkness and supported me...but now my support has gone and i am struggling to hold on and not slip back into that darkness...i need them, but i guess things have changed...
