waiting for death

Again I am overwhelmed with emotions that I cannot share with anybody.  More self-loathing that I'm not able to talk about.  And thoughts of self-harm which will only cause others to over react rather than accepting how I feel.  Accepting how I feel does not mean that they encourage it, it means that they will listen.  If I TELL you what I am thinking and feeling, it may worry you but it is a good thing.  When I STOP telling you anything - that is when you need to worry.  That is when I'm internalizing everything so keep from being judge by you.

So many people fear death.  I am looking forward to it so that I no longer have to deal with this.  It's almost torturous waiting for it to come.

Oh well, just another day in the life of me.