we are all Pavlov's dogs

conditional reflex: a conditioned response that anticipates the occurrence of an aversive stimulus

everyone has a conditional reflex of some sort and with widely varying degrees...for instance...a soldier who has seen combat will typically react much more at the sound of a loud noise than others...an abused person who reacts to a raised hand or a yell...more famously are Pavlov's dogs which drooled at the sound of a bell...these are involuntary reactions, reflexes brought on by a specific condition in anticipation of what is to come...
throughout life everyone will encounter situations that impact them either, consciously or subconsciously, and we carry a reaction to that...it is a learned behavior...an automatic, involuntary reaction to an outside stimulus...

sometimes the reflex will go away on its own...other times it is an absolute, never-ending struggle to break it...and when the situation which caused this phenomenon is prolonged for weeks, months or years, breaking the cycle, breaking the behavior, forcing a change to the reflex becomes harder because it is ingrained in the very fiber of your being as a means of survival...so how does someone break the chain that holds them back?  i am trying to break the chains but i do not know how...